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There’s a Poem

(A version of this poem is printed in "Recycling Grandad", edited by Roger Stevens and published by A & C Black, 2008) 

In your granny's crumble, there's a poem
In a beggar's mumble, there’s a poem
In the bumble of the bee
In the tumble of the sea
And in the rumble of your tummy, there’s a poem

In the clip-clop of a horse trot, there’s a poem
In the tick-tock of a town clock, there’s a poem
When you trip up on a hiccup
Or you stuck still in a stick-up
Or you sick up all you lick up, there’s a poem

In the fog of your brains, there’s a poem
Turn the cog, release the chains, there’s a poem
Written on a rainbow
Beyond where the trains go
And which way the weather vane's blow, there’s a poem

When your tongue is tied, there's a poem 
When your dog has died, there’s a poem
When your backside is too wide
For a ride down the slide
And you've no pride left to hide, there's a poem 

And when the wind is blowing and the trees are to and fro-ing
And when the grass is growing and one man goes out mowing
And when from a long throw in the ball falls to Michael Owen 
And he gets a toe in but the ball it doesn’t go in
And the frustration is showing there’s a...........punch-up

 In everything you hear, there's a poem
Out in the atmosphere, there's a poem
And when I think I think there isn't 
The answer's always different
Because if I really listen, then there's a poem


 Daddy Disastar


(from Born To Giggle, edited by Ian Billings and published by Macmillan)

He lives in a house that’s all lopsided

Where the chores aren’t done and the drawers aren’t tidied

His car is wrecked and his driving wreckless

His favourite outfit is his breakfast 

How did he get to become a father? 

Ladies and Gentlemen - Daddy Disaster


The hand he lends is crammed with thumbs

One job to do’s too much at once 

Who broke the bath? Do you have to ask? 

Can he fix it? No, he can’t. 

If you want a make a mess then meet the master 

Welcome to the world of Daddy Disaster


Who cut himself on a pencil sharpener?
Coloured his face in fluorescent marker?

Set his hair on fire with a harmless sparkler? 

Sat his bottom down on a wet banana? 

Yes, you must’ve guessed the answer

Ladies and Gentlemen - Daddy Disaster


Valentine's Verse

I got a Valentine’s card this year

But I’m afraid I had to bin it

The writing was my mothers

And there was no money in it.



The Jumble Boy 

(From The Jumble Book show and The Jumble Book book, edited by Roger Stevens and publised by Macmillan. Published 2009 with all proceeds to Dyslexia Action)

He reads the same simple sentence again 
The sense of it, simply, will not sink in 
He’s the Jumble Boy who can’t spell his name
The panic runs manic about his brain  
Letters give him jitters: jest and jinx him
He reads the same simple sentence again
But it’s too hard for him. He can’t explain 
The problem is he can’t stop from thinking 
He’s the Jumble Boy who can’t spell his name
Teachers can’t reach him but to shout his shame 
He’s not got a clue, they’ve not an inkling 
He reads the same simple sentence again
One dreamday he’ll teach them. He’ll find his aim 
And write the world such a verse worth printing
Of the Jumble Boy who can’t spell his name

But now Jane likes Peter. Peter likes Jane
And he hates the school and all who shrink him
He reads the same simple sentence again
Just the Jumble Boy who can’t spell his name




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